How Do I Deal With The Sadness Of Watching My Parents Age?
I recently visited my parents, who have relocated to our rural home after retirement and had to face the deep sadness that comes with watching them age. Growing up and even in my adult, nobody ever talked about the acceptance an adult child needs to have as they watch their parents’ age. It was difficult, sad, and tough to see the physical and behavioral changes in my aging parents.
I have to admit that watching my parents age is one of the hardest things so far, I have had to do in my entire life.
This article does not give you tips to cope with as you watch your parents age. It is all about venting the fear, sadness, and anger that comes with seeing them age. I know it is a blessing to witness them alive at their age, but it does not change the fact that it is heartbreaking to see them grow old.
I was raised in a loving and friendly home with hardworking parents. My father is a go-getter who provided for his four children. My mother perfectly balanced her work with home care. We never lacked in all senses as both my father and mother ensured we had love, shelter, food, clothes, and anything a child could ask for in his world.
I remember when my dad lost his job, my mother took care of us without ever complaining. And when my mother was jobless, my father also took care of us while loving my mom even more deeply. When my mom went back to school to finish her diploma studies, my father was supportive as he raised us without us feeling a huge gap in Mum’s absence.
Seeing my parents decline, without the strength, good health, and vigor they had while I was growing up really knocked me on my ass. Our roles have currently reversed as it is now the children, four of us, who call to check in on them. We are lucky to have the eldest son staying home with them, but sometimes he is a source of stress rather than comfort due to his alcoholism.
I often break down in tears when I picture my mom doing house chores and my dad taking on other heavier duties and responsibilities. Both my mother and father are yet to accept that they are getting old. They still want to till their shamba, go for long church visits, and other duties that they should delegate to the people we pay to do this kind of work.
Both my father and mother have lost weight as they adapt to life in our rural home, plus they have old-age illnesses such as hypertension and ulcers. They constantly fall sick, and seeing them weak and ill is devastating. I have to be strong for them, and it sucks to hide my feelings because I never want them to feel that I have pity or sadness as they age. I want to be their source of happiness, joy, and peace, just as they were to me as I was growing up.
The deep love I have for my parents makes it difficult for me to see them frail and suffering, which does not correspond to the image I have of them in my mind.
As of now, I am still struggling with their aging and the physical and emotional challenges they face as they grow older. However, I want to look for resources and someone who will help me deal with the changes that come with my parents’ aging. I do not have the coping mechanisms or what one needs to do, but after I have dealt with my emotions and learned more, I will hopefully write about what helps.
As for now, I am going to give my parents all the love and support that is humanly possible. Because that is what true love is all about.
